Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
