is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
is it fun? or sober?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
