I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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