I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
