If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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