I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
