Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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