the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
