I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
