People with herpes should wear stickers.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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