I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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