pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
