Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
