Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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