It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
