I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
