Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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