hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize