I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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