Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I need moral support for this bender
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
