would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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