half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
