just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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