My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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