i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
