I'm eating all of the evidence.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
