i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
