You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
