he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
