Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Haym$ered

(734): View more from Michigan

turn off your phone and go to bed

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(828): View more from North Carolina

everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.

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(703): View more from Virginia

fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"

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(512): View more from Texas

there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.

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(720): View more from Colorado

It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.

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(210): View more from Texas

He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now

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(425): View more from Washington

So what are you going to be for halloween?

(503): View more from Oregon

A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.

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(207): View more from Maine

RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR

(207): View more from Maine

THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK

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