Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
