Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
