so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
sarcasm needs its own font
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
