We named our party play list daddy issues
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
