I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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