About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
