not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
