Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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