You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
try to milk me bitch
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