in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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