If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
