Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
