Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
