I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
