Sry I called you an 8
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
