Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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