u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
