im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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