Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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