Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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